Struggled to press publish

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I’m the face the secretly Bipolar Depressive mother, living in a nice Suburban neighborhood just trying to pretend me that is not me. But if you’re reading this, you shall know the truth.

I am not crazy, I don’t talk to myself in corners or scream at people randomly. I don’t hear voices or have random thoughts of hurting myself or others.

I do however, get really happy and ultra motivated to the extremes that I am annoying some days. Then there is the bad days that I feel overly sad that it is hard staying focused.

For years I struggled to following through with many things. Not because I didn’t want to, not because I wasn’t interested, or a flake. I failed to execute many of my ideas/projects because my mind was all over the place and part of the time was trying to cope with just making “today” happen without a meltdown.

In recent months, I’ve had some major heart-to-hearts with my husband and he never understood why I never finished any of my brilliant ideas/projects. I tried to explain how I functioned and it still didn’t make sense to him.

I am now very controlled with medication and doing very well. I write this to show and tell the world that being Bipolar is not necessarily an ugly ailment. Yes it sucks at times, but we are normal people with “a few more spices in our stew”.

I will press the publish button, even if I regret it two minutes later and want to hide under a rock…

5 thoughts on “Struggled to press publish

    03alwi said:
    December 9, 2014 at 6:04 am

    Shyness no ; withdrawal yes!

    Riding the Life Coaster said:
    December 9, 2014 at 2:46 pm

    I have the same issue. Great ideas but I never do them. I’m working on changing that now.

    blahpolar said:
    December 9, 2014 at 5:15 pm

    There are loads of us out here in the blogosphere, you’re not alone 🙂

    mckarlie said:
    December 10, 2014 at 12:39 am

    My bipolar has given me a terrible pattern throughout life of starting things when I’m manic, and then not being able to finish them because of a depressive episode (they last up to a year). I’m 33 and have started four bachelor degrees, nearly finished 2 of them, finished one and barely got through the other. I’ve had so many different jobs, I’ve lived in so many different countries, I kept moving and trying different things trying to find my happiness, only to find I actually have to do the hard work to fix myself. I hope you manage to break the cycle, I hope I manage to as well 🙂

    dyane said:
    December 10, 2014 at 6:47 pm

    Thank you for pressing that publish button – I know how hard it can be, but it’s worth it. I wish you luck in breaking your habit!!!

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